Trust and Influence

The strongest relationships, which allow the most influence simply for the asking, are built over time and have been tempered through hard times. These relationships have become worthy of trust. Therefore, trust is an outcome of high quality relationships. It is also critical aspect of relation­ships where ready influence is needed. We’re talking about broad-scale trust. I might trust you for specific things like getting to work on time or even getting a project done well. However, to trust you to the point of readily using my energy on your behalf I must trust you in a larger way. This level of trust is a sense of confidence that someone will consistently behave in ways that will support our well-being—good intentions by themselves are insufficient.

There are five primary aspects of trust. They are…

1. Honesty

2. Openness

3. Keeping agreements

4. Understanding

5. Loyalty

Honesty is fairly straightforward. It means that I can be confident that you tell me the truth as best you know it—you won’t knowingly lie to me.

Openness that leads toward greater trust means you will share—on your own initiative and on request—with me any information or thoughts you have that will allow me to make better informed decisions and to know you better—intellectually and emotionally. If you are open with me you will not allow me to mislead myself about your intentions or expectations.

Keeping agreements is doing what you’ve said you would do when you said you would do it.

Understanding as an aspect of trust requires more exploration. To trust you with my well–being—personal or organizational—I need know that you understand me. I need know that you understand my goals, my values, my motivations, and what well-being is to me. I might believe in your good intentions regarding my well-being, however, if I sense that you do not understand me I will not be able trust that you will behave in accord with my well-being.

Loyalty has to do with support in the face of adversity. It is critical if I’m to trust you during difficult times. Hanging together during tough times—when budgets are being cut, when strategies are failing, when a promotion is at stake that only one of you can have—pays dividends. Honesty, openness, keeping agreements, understanding, and loyalty are the keys to building and maintaining the type of trust that signifies the quality relationship that allows for significant amounts of ready influence.

Excerpted from The Infinite Organization by me