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Essential Tools | Conscious Use of Self
Conscious Use of Self
The primary tool that any single person wishing to manage change in a human system uses is that singular person and the tools that are that person's abilities (particularly our ability to learn), capabilities, aspects, and facets. Most of us normal human beings have only begun to recognize and develop full command of ourselves. Most of us respond to many situations automatically. These automatic or habitual responses are the result of overlearning. Overlearning is the extrapolation of an appropriate learning from past experiences and applying it too broadly to every other set of similar situations. Overlearning gives us a 'shotgun' approach to life where the impact of too many of our intentions fall far from our intended results.
The way we define parts of ourselves as OK and parts as not OK is another hindrance to effective use of self. Too often we deny the large portions of ourselves that we define as not OK. We want to see ourselves as male, not female or female, not male. We want to see ourselves as 'nice,' never as 'mean.' In this manner, we deprive ourselves of the inherent flexibility that comes with the multiple aspects and attitudes that make up our fundamental integrity. We often judge ourselves too harshly.
In the processes of effective change management we need all the personal flexibility we can muster. How we use ourselves in one situation with one person is not likely to be very effective in another, though similar situation or person. A part of that flexibility is the ability to notice when we might be mistaking our assumptions for real data. This is a pervasive pitfall in the world and in managing change in human systems.
Effective use of self calls for learning how to be aware of and direct our own thoughts, our emotions, and our behavior. As we move toward mastery, we will be more and more able to behave in such a manner that the systems within which we wish to manage change will respond in ways consonant with our goals and intention.